the end of the blog

I haven’t been blogging lately and I haven’t felt much desire to. I’ve been keeping up with this little blob of webspace for over five years now, and it has grown stale. It’s not giving me the satisfaction it once did. This decision is actually a long time coming, before I started working in an office full-time. When Darwin started going to daycare part-time, I had lofty ambitions (aka, the title of my never-to-be-written memoir) of putting enough effort into blogging to become a Blogger with a capital B. I had detailed plans and was convinced I knew what it would take, but I couldn’t bring myself to actually do it. It didn’t feel right. Now I have a Drafts folder full of half-written posts, some photos on my camera that I could post, but no. I’m just not feeling it anymore. I have a whole new set of challenges to face with my new job, especially since my predecessor is leaving the position on Monday (and I may have already asked him to stay another month and it’s not happening) and I may be panicking a bit.

I’ve thought about quitting blogging for a long time. I hit walls with it, I write posts that don’t meet my standards, my stats tank if I don’t keep up what seems to me like a rigid routine of making new content several times a week, sharing the new content on social media (at peak times), finding new blogs to follow and comment on, finding new people to follow and connect with on Twitter (or other networks), etc. It’s no longer the creative outlet it once was; it’s more of a chore.

I told Farrell about my decision (which he hears about at least once every few months) and he told me not to quit blogging, but to just post less frequently. It doesn’t fit, though. The idea of leaving this space open-ended, that the possibility of posting something new and taking on blogging responsibilities (if you can even call them that) is ever-present, seems worse than declaring once and for all that I won’t update it anymore.

I listened to two Freakonomics podcasts (this one and this one) to try to soothe my emotions over this decision. I’ve sunk a lot of time and energy into this thing, which seems like a shame to waste, but I need the time and brain-space to dedicate to other things. I’m not completely ruling out the possibility of a new project/blog/website further down the line. What I’m mostly looking to do is to clear myself of the nagging feeling that today, I really should work on my blog.

I made a lot of really great friends and random, wonderful connections through this blog. I was able to take advantage of some wonderful opportunities because of this blog, and I’m so so grateful for all of them. Overall, this blog was good for me.

Blogging was my creative outlet for five years. Some days it had my complete focus. Now, it’s time to move on and find something new. (For the time being, at least.)

(Comments are off, send me an email if you’d like. Thanks for reading, friends!)